


I Can Be Your Home

by Ynat



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Episode: s03e14 El Matadero, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 17:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16022798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ynat/pseuds/Ynat
Summary: ‘I can’t go back with her.’ They will know. They will hear us. One of the walkers looked at us, but Nick didn’t seem to care. ‘Shhhhh!’ I tried to calm him down, but it had no effect. I put my arm around him and hugged him close to my chest. Who is her? Madison?





	I Can Be Your Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I am really sorry if it's bad and full of grammar mistakes. English is not my first language and I am a little bit rusty at writing. Anyway, I wrote this story and I decided to post it, so I hope you won't hate it to much. Leave a comment, please, I appreciate both compliments and critique :)!

‘I can’t go back.’ Nick whispered to a walker who just passed them. I’ve never seen him so messed up. Maybe that’s not the right way to put it. The look in his eyes was desperate and calling for help but most of all, tired. What is he even talking about? Back where? The place Strand and Madison brought us to? I can’t say I blame him. I look at him again. Maybe it was the drugs talking, or the smell of the blood of that walker from the truck made me a little mad but he never looked more beautiful that right now, surrounded by death.

I’ve seen him for who he is for a long time. There was no doubt in my mind that the life he was living was not the life he needed or wanted to have. All the rules and responsibility just weren’t his cup of tea. Everyone tried to tame him, but he is too wild.

I’ve never felt more focused or light-headed in my life. High on an infected brain stem. Can’t say I ever imagined myself in this situation.

‘I can’t go back with her.’ They will know. They will hear us. One of the walkers looked at us, but Nick didn’t seem to care. ‘Shhhhh!’ I tried to calm him down, but it had no effect. I put my arm around him and hugged him close to my chest. Who is _her_? Madison?

‘I can’t go back with her.’ He muttered and I just held him closer. The heat from his body radiated through me and my hands wandered around his back, touching and enjoying the moments when I have him in my arms. He has to be talking about Madison, who else? Alicia was fine, happy… If I had to guess, I would think he would rather stay with her than anything else, really. He loved his sister.

On the other hand, my brother Jake… He cared. I know he did. Maybe not at the very end, when the Clarks came into our lives and changed them forever. He was never able to understand me, but he used to love me. He was the only one capable of loving the monster I am. But then Nick came. All of his threats, violent nature and soul of a poet. He truly looked at me and didn’t run. He didn’t leave when Luciana left the ranch. He stayed behind and no matter what he says, I know it wasn’t just because of Madison. It was his curiosity that made him stay by my side.

Last few of the walkers passed us. I still held my arm around him. He seemed to be calming down, at least as much as it was possible in his state. Our state.

‘Nick. You feeling okay?’ I whispered. I was not about to risk one of them turning back to have a dinner. Slowly, I’ve let my arms down and looked at him.

‘I can’t.’ That were the only words that left his mouth, but I could see the stream of thought behind his eyes.

‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Nicky.’ I looked around. It seems that the walkers were far enough that it was safe to speak normally. With everything what just went on with Nick I couldn’t even enjoy the incredible feeling I’ve gotten when we were in the middle of the group of the dead. I could almost hear my heart beating so much faster than usual. Am I having a heart attack? Is that the feeling you get when your life is ending?

‘I can’t stand it anymore. She is always making me feel guilty, always acts as if I am disappointing her. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to carry that burden. I am my own person. I need to be free, to do what I want, to make my own choices. Sometimes I miss it, you know? My life before the apocalypse. Not the actions, but the feeling…’ He was talking vividly, his fingers running through his hair.

‘Then we’ll stay here.’ He looked at me. ‘Or not here, we can go anywhere we want. We’ll take a car and disappear before anyone notices.’ My hand found its way on his shoulder. I squeezed lightly, still looking into his eyes. I would follow him anywhere. He is the only person I have left and I will do anything to make sure he is okay and that he will stay with me.

He was looking at me with such intensity in his eyes that I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Suddenly, he moved quickly and I felt pressure on my lips. I didn’t really have a lot of practise, but after a moment of surprise I kissed him back. I buried my fingers in his hair, and pushed myself closer to him. It was hard and dirty. I’ve never felt anything similar. I kissed people, I had sex, but it never felt right. Don’t get me wrong, it was okay, but I’ve never got the appeal of doing it repeatedly until now. I didn’t want to stop. I was wanted and he was letting me know how much. His tongue slipped into my open mouth and his hands grabbed me by my neck and waist. His fingers were pushing into my skin with force, but not enough to make a lasting bruise.

I moved one of my hands to his chest, over his heart. It was beating so fast, just like mine. All of the adrenaline flowing through my veins was pumping and I just wanted to do something. Anything. He moved his lips against mine one more time before he moved away. We were both breathing heavily. His hand, that until this point was holding me by the back of my neck, moved to the front. He lifted my head a little and I couldn’t help myself and smirked.

‘Well, Nick, I knew you love me. Couldn’t hold yourself back any longer?’ I teased him and saw his face turn from the intense and turned on expression to an angry one.

‘Shut up, Troy.’ Forcibly he pulled my face closer to him and kissed me again. Can’t really complain about that. This kiss was slower and shorter, but not any less violent. When it ended, I felt weak and powerful at the same time. The world was lying at our feet and we could take it together.

He pushed at my neck for so long that I began to have trouble breathing, his thumb slowly stroking the skin beneath. I couldn’t look away. He was finally here. The real Nick. No masks, no bullshit, no pretending. Just him, and I loved every second of it.

When he finally allowed the air to move in and out of my lungs without any obstructions, I just took a long deep breath. I didn’t want to show his any weakness. I was not about to make him get that smug smile of his.

‘I guess that’s settled. We are leaving on our own.’ I tried stepping away from him to clear my head a little, but he wouldn’t let me. He was holding me by the back of my head.

‘No, we are staying here.’ He said in a tone that left me questioning his plans. But who am I kidding, I don’t really care anyway, as long as I have him. I nodded and he finally let me go.

I watched him turn around and it made me smile. I am sorry, Madison, but your son is mine now.

 


End file.
